The Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (Oct. 7-13)

There’s nothing I like greater than third-party gossip. Please inform me surprising tales about your coworker’s boyfriend, your mother’s greatest good friend, your private coach’s spouse.

— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) October 11, 2023

noticed a tiktok of a girl being like “right here’s a trick i realized in italy” and she or he simply squeezed lemon juice into her coke

— latke (@latkedelrey) October 10, 2023

My therapist texted me about scheduling and I despatched again a remedy meme I’ve been saving for weeks and she or he laugh-reacted.

This looks like when the trainer makes use of your essay and an instance or a TSA employee says you had been very environment friendly. Overachiever-burned-out-oldest-daughter catnip.

— Meg St-Esprit (@MegStEsprit) October 10, 2023

(flirting) if i used to be murdered would u clear up my case?

— 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐞 (@prettytheyswag) October 8, 2023

6:00 PM in the summertime: The evening is younger! Let’s keep exterior for hours!

6:00 PM within the fall: Properly it is darkish, so I suppose I am going to simply prepare for mattress now.

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) October 9, 2023

In England essentially the most harmful place will probably be known as like Twiddlingham and in Scotland essentially the most stunning place you’ve ever seen will probably be known as one thing like Mung

— Matilda ♋︎ (@matildae22) October 12, 2023

beckham documentary has me on the sting of my seat questioning what’s going to occur in a match that happened 25 years in the past

— trish (@ULTRAGLOSS) October 9, 2023

no cuz having a British bf is a humbling expertise i’ll be making up drama in my head and begin shit and my bf will simply say “what u on about” and I simply am like yeah okay lemme shut up

— ✭ 𝒞 𝒦 ✭ (@wolfiecindy) October 7, 2023

me mendacity to my physician saying i drink 2-3 alcoholic drinks every week pic.twitter.com/sD81yd2Nsp

— trash jones (@jzux) October 8, 2023

why would i take the mail out of the mailbox ? as soon as i take it out it turns into one thing i’ve to take care of

— chase (@_chase_____) October 8, 2023

the craziest factor that’s ever occurred to me was when i despatched a lady ss of her boyfriend flirting w me so she would know after which she mentioned “yea he does that don’t really feel particular” after which blocked me . i used to be genuinely: 😮

— vereena 🪐 (@VereenaSayed) October 10, 2023

My dad mentioned the Bigfoot sightings web site he used to love has gone completely industrial “in fact”

— em!! (@realemilyattack) October 8, 2023

I’ve a scholar w a listening to support & I put on this factor round my neck in order that he can hear me speaking in his ear. Y’all why I forgot to mute it & I walked exterior the category to cuss my man out…. I got here again in & the coed mentioned “Ms. Figueroa are you okay?” 😭

— miss thang (@lolschey) October 11, 2023

You could be audacious, however are you “passing off a set of bowls from Walmart as handmade antiques at an over 700% markup on Etsy” audacious? pic.twitter.com/THuNuTtI7T

— Claire Zagorski, MSc, LP (@clairezagorski) October 11, 2023

A person from jail known as me at the moment and I accepted the decision, idk why 😭 however he was like “I simply dialed a random quantity. How’s life on the skin?” 😭😭😭

— Hoe…Why Is You Right here? (@xWhyySoSerious) October 11, 2023

As a millennial, I’ve about 1-2 extra “unprecedented instances” in me earlier than I transfer right into a pineapple below the ocean

— Keeks 🦋 (@DietCoke_Esq) October 10, 2023

lastly buckling down and studying about stuff i solely know as nytimes crossword clues pic.twitter.com/asUns4dWPb

— Ol haj (@sin_ecdoche) October 8, 2023

Taco Bell shouldn’t actually have a menu. It is best to simply hand them $5-10 and allow them to interpret your non secular wants.

— ditch pony (@molly7anne) October 11, 2023

There must be a grocery retailer for single folks the place they promote flour by the tablespoon

— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) October 8, 2023

uber driver mentioned “you an ashley, i placed on some ashley music” and it’s paramore

— ashley ray (@theashleyray) October 9, 2023

What do you assume David Beckham, a working class man who labored obsessively exhausting from childhood to turn into among the finest on the earth at one thing, thought when he first noticed Brooklyn Beckham’s images guide pic.twitter.com/dPW9uuSOa1

— Matilda ♋︎ (@matildae22) October 7, 2023

apple be charging me $17, $5, $5, $10, $11 each month & idek what tf i’m paying for 😂

— A ❥. (@Wuggaaaaa_) October 8, 2023

the sopranos is unrealistic as a result of nobody’s dad really goes to remedy

— bailey moon (@baileymoon96) October 9, 2023

woman math is avoiding transport prices by shopping for extra

— em (@DI0RSBABY) October 9, 2023

Irrespective of the species, toddlers simply be doing no matter https://t.co/GnsmLLMFfF

— Whitty Huton Wuld Toor Supervisor (@wittykitty5) October 11, 2023

keep in mind the 2010s wedding ceremony period the place it turned regular for a primary dance to screech to a halt so they might present us that they might dance to crank that soulja boy.

— emily (@emilykmay) October 11, 2023

that is who pbs is speaking about once they say “viewers such as you” https://t.co/ejcFHxtdCn

— taylor garron (@taylorgarron) October 8, 2023

I used to be watching “And Simply Like That” in Spanish for 4 minutes earlier than I noticed I’d modified my language settings. I assumed it was only a plot line the place all of them spoke Spanish to be extra woke

— Ginny Hogan (@ginnyhogan_) October 8, 2023

okay i noticed why i don’t like jigsaw puzzles that a lot it’s bc i don’t care to see an image that badly

— sarah hagi (@KindaHagi) October 10, 2023

I ate a pointy chip and also you’re laughing. I ate a too sharp chip and damage the roof of my mouth and also you’re laughing

— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) October 9, 2023